by Ashleigh Eisbrener
If you’ve picked up the latest edition of the Suburban Woman of Kane and Kendall Counties (thank you!) you’ve probably already read the Sex by the Numbers feature with information from Gail Saltz, MD, a psychiatrist, intimacy expert, columnist, bestselling author and television commentator. Yes, she’s awesome… and she knows all the dirty little secrets! (Definitely pick up a copy if you haven’t yet – or view it online at www.suburbanwoman.net.) As promised, Sex by the Numbers is continued right here on our blog! How convenient. This time, we spoke with Allison Macbeth who holds a Master of Applied Science Degree in Sexual Health and the key to another great lengthy list of intriguing digits. Take in some of these fun stats and tips for keeping your love life ultra steamy – perfect for the chillier nights we’ve been having lately!
85: Number of calories the average person burns during 30 minutes of sexual intercourse. (Web MD)
Want to increase the number of calories you burn during sex? Why not challenge yourself to trying at least three different positions? Be creative and see what you can come up with.
12: Percentage of Americans who’ve had sex with a coworker. (ABC News)
I would have thought this number would be higher. A lot of people meet potential partners at work. It’s where we spend the majority of our lives after all, and although they say not to dip your nib in the office ink, if you don’t you would be severely limiting your options of where to meet people. So long as you are both aware of what it means for your working relationship and how you will navigate both working together and dating each other, there’s nothing wrong with it. Make sure you have clear communication because if it’s just a fling for one of you and it’s more serious for the other there could be big problems. Just keep in mind you might need to get a new job if it all goes wrong.
12: Percentage of married Americans who sleep alone. (National Sleep Foundation)
There are all kinds of reasons this might be happening. For example, some people work away from their spouse and only meet up on weekends or after several months. Other people have problems with sleep (snoring, restlessness, insomnia) that make it difficult to sleep or make it difficult for their partner to sleep. In these instances it is easier for them to meet up for cuddles and sex and then go sleep in their own space. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. People often assume that if partners sleep separately that there is a problem with the relationships but it doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone is different and if they, for some reason, cannot sleep together, so long as they negotiate that and agree on something that suits their relationship, it can actually help improve their sex lives. Sleep deprivation can cause a lot of health problems, so this could be a good solution for many couples and they shouldn’t be afraid to try it.
53: Percentage of people who have sex weekly. (ChartsBin)
Often life gets in the way of sex. People have jobs and kids and financial stresses. If people are happy with sex once a week then that’s great, there’s nothing wrong with that, we all have different libidos. But if they want more but don’t think they have time for it then they need to make a change. Often people don’t feel turned on, but they want to want to have sex. This is good enough. Once they get going and get into it their body responds. This is true mostly for women, but for men as well. The “just do it” approach can be a bit controversial, but it’s not about only pleasing your partner, it’s about choosing to have sex even if you’re not “turned on” in the beginning. But your body will still respond once you get going and as long as you are happy and willing then who cares if you felt “turned on” before you started or after? Sex does not have to be spontaneous. It’s a myth that the best sex comes from being carried away with emotion. The planning, preparation and excitement of anticipation can lead to great sex. And sometimes just being with your lover is enough to turn you on.
75: Percentage of people who don’t use products to enhance their sexual experience, although 50 percent said they would like to. (Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey)
It’s interesting that so many people want to try “products” out but don’t. This might be because there is a stigma around some sex shops and people are embarrassed. A lot of sex shops are sleazy, dirty places, hiding in dark corners. But there has recently been a revolution in sex shops with a more woman-oriented, classy, high-end feel about them. The idea is to get rid of the stigma and empower women to take charge of their sexuality. For example, some of my favorites are Ann Summers, PASH Parties and The Art of Loving. I am also surprised that more people haven’t bought toys on the internet; without ever having to set foot in a store they don’t need to feel embarrassed.
40: The number (in millions) of sperm that should be ejaculated once a man reaches orgasm. (M.A.Z.E. Laboratories)
This is because no sperm can do it alone! The vagina is actually quite hostile to sperm and there needs to be many of them to ensure that fertilization happens. Sperm also live for five to seven days inside the woman’s reproductive system. This means that having sex up to a week before the woman ovulates (which is only about 24 hours once a month) can still lead to pregnancy.
34: Percentage of women who have at some point in their life experienced vaginal dryness. (Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey)
I’m actually surprised that this is not higher. Vaginal dryness can happen for all sorts of reasons and is very common. For example, as a side-effect of medication, from drinking alcohol, from tiredness, and is more common post-menopause. This doesn’t have to be a big problem though. First of all, women need more foreplay than men and need clitoral stimulation to be turned on. If they focus more on this aspect of sex before the actual intercourse it can help. And if women also have some synthetic lubrication at home they can keep it handy for when they need it. There’s nothing wrong with needing lube and it makes things a lot more fun. As long as they buy water-based lube (because other kinds can reduce the efficacy of condoms) then it doesn’t matter which one. There are a lot of brands out there so they just need to experiment until they find one they like.
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